Swoops

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Officially named "FUCK THE SWOOPS", you may know them as Swoop Jockeys but they mostly just go by "Swoops" these days. you may also refer to thems as Swoon Johnnies cuz they so purdy.

SWOOPS are a shameful disgrace. They are a scar on the face of Atlanta. With a good following centered more or less around Memorial Tattoo in Cabbagetown, and also a little place I know (Zesto) they *used to* ride every dang Sunday WAY too early in the morning (9:30am) from Memorial Tattoo on Carol St. to go out in search of fun rides and dainty breakfast coffee and deeeeelites. Sometimes they ride other times too. Crazy right? now sundaty rides are a memory, but the memory can feel the breath of new life if it's granted a wish.

TUESDAY 7:30 from 97 Estoria for drinks and crashes!

Other interests of the group besides fast mopeds include such exciting things as:

-butt huffing

-bootie bonging

-jenkem


Members


the first crazy eight

Colin Barry is a member of the Swoops and was once a Gun. One time he was offered turkish deeeeeelites by a white witch and he accepted. Now he's married, but that's not related. Tanya is a very nice Babe lady. Other members include lots of people not worth mentioning, and lots of people who are worth mentioning [citation needed]. Colin's hiding north of Detroit now.

There WAS Clint who goes by Monstro on these forums, and has a hot mom and sister. We kicked him out actually cuz he moved to Nashville and then chicago and stopped playing mopeds.

Will D is the reigning strongest man in the world. his knees are nothing but scar tissue and bone. he moved to cleveland

Mark and his guerilla gripz never left memorial tattoo except for wives and freds. freds is the wonderland womb we were birthed from. But then mark got birthed himself back into the single world (a.k.a. duhvorce) and has become way more rad than before even! or at least he hung out more. But then he found a new lady, and a new life and big bikes. see ya round bud.

Bobby makes mopeds faster than yours and also some that are slow. like his camino, that thing blew. blew UP that is. he has a hairy tip. He's our pro rider. Also mostly into bigger and better things but we still get together to draw pictures of dongs and drink wines and laugh about the glory days we're still livin' in.

Jeremie a.k.a. Jer bear a.k.a. Jock Jamz will knock you out cold (or at least knock your cold ones outta yer hand), beat up homeless ladies, travel through time to rape people past present and future, and be a real swell friend. his loft reeks of 2 stroke and gasoline because he stores his bikes in his living room. no wonder jeremie is now in seattle.

Nick once had a fast bike. Then he sold it. he crashes randomly but it's always a good surprise. He wants a hairy tip, but he has to save up for it. Nick's one of the last stalwarts of the original swoops still riding in ATL 10 years later.

Eugene is the first affirmative action member of the Swoops, was voted in for extra diversity and also the fact that he would ride 40 miles every Sunday just to do the 15 mile morning ride (what a retard). he is usually masturbating to drift cars or Sprees, but every once in a while he rides something cool. He's the only swoop to actually move CLOSER and still takes it hard in the A.(tl)

There's always Skip. Skip is currently the longest surviving old cum baby in the world. His friends and loved ones are shocked every day that he oozes his way out of bed. He's got a lot less time for mopeds anymore, busily running one of the most successful new bar/restaurant/coffeeshops in Atlanta, 8 arm. http://www.atlantamagazine.com/bestofatlanta/al-fresco-bar-8arm/ Skip got to be #8 when clint left.

the expanded universe

Rob Wonder tm. he shot at hoodrats once for trying to fuck with the swoops. real gang shit. real talk. also used a tek-9 in doing so. but he's really a big teddy bear. minus the "teddy" part... Rob loves to ride and is a badass dad and truly a fucking epic success story.

Brooks Rayman is a nice guy but if you push him too far he just might... come at him you get cut. naw, you won't.. brooks will most likely hurt himself trying to hurt you. you should let him love you instead, it's a great feeling

Andres! He is one of the raddest dudes in the world tho, so that's why he's a swoop. Andres is still in ATL and blesses us all with his light, but keeps his feet on pedals without a motor these days.

Andy Sapp. he's our boy. kill or be kill or else - slidestyle we see him when he's not on tour photographing

Ross is the reason we're called swoon johnnys sometimes. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY?! fucking sexpot. they had the cutest baby and lawd knows how those swallow party time away, congrats sir & madam

Matt Turner makes us cool stuff and makes himself cool stuff, like really fast hobbit/caminos and cuztom swoops pinkie rings and iphone backs. TRY to be as real as the swoops, i dare ya. Matt's also here and gone between work family texas California and beyond. he does custom stuff for damn sure.

Tom Stearns is not to be confused with tommiegun tom sterns, the pedophile. OUR tom is not a pedophile. but he DOES have a Delorian. you can pick up underage kids way easier in a Delorian than you can in a rape van. just sayin'

Kevin can make you stickers decals and t-shirts. please contact swoops for all of your printing needs.

ALSO JORDAN was the newest. that was ages ago now. congrats ya little dumb fuck. he already left for swoops savannah.

New year ~> 5 New Swoops! Venkat, Blake, Andy, Nick B, and Raniel!

We've also incorporated Savannah, swoops is jawja boiz there's more new membies, we'll update someday...

Rallies

They held their first lil moped rally in July of 2010. BREAKDOWN AND DIE. Ludacris didn't attend, and as a result they have NO cred. http://vimeo.com/12474458

then did it again a year later: BREAKDOWN AND DIE HARDER http://vimeo.com/29094104

and then THIRD TIME! AT A SKATEPARK WITH A SLIP N' SLIDE!!!!: BREAKDOWN AND DIE HARDEST WITH A VENGEANCE http://vimeo.com/47791250

4th was a blast. "I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT" : http://www.mopedarmy.com/forums/read.php?1,3486870 including jumping scooters off people's heads and ~30ft thru the air. If you missed it, whoops!

See also

They've got a website

They've also got a Facebook page


FUCK THE SWOOPS! (god blast the swoops)