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Officially named "FUCK THE SWOOPS", you may know them as Swoop Jockeys but they mostly just go by "Swoops" these days. you may also refer to thems as Swoon Johnnies cuz they so purdy.

SWOOPS are a shameful disgrace. They are a scar on the face of Atlanta. With a good following centered more or less around Memorial Tattoo in Cabbagetown, and also a little place I know (Zesto) they ride every dang Sunday WAY too early in the morning (9:30am) from Memorial Tattoo on Carol St. to go out in search of fun rides and dainty breakfast coffee and deeeeelites. Sometimes they ride other times too. Crazy right?

TUESDAY 7:30 from 97 Estoria for drinks and crashes!

Other interests of the group besides fast mopeds include such exciting things as:

-butt huffing

-bootie bonging



Colin Barry is a member of the Swoops and was once a Gun. One time he was offered turkish deeeeeelites by a white witch and he accepted. Now he's married, but that's not related. Tanya is a very nice Babe lady. Other members include lots of people not worth mentioning, and lots of people who are worth mentioning [citation needed].

There WAS Clint who goes by Monstro on these forums, and has a hot mom and sister. We kicked him out actually cuz he moved to nashville and stopped playing mopeds.

Will D is the reigning strongest man in the world. his knees are nothing but scar tissue and bone.

Mark and his guerilla gripz never left memorial tattoo except for wives and freds. freds is the wonderland womb we were birthed from. But then mark got birthed himself back into the single world (a.k.a. duhvorce) and has become way more rad than before even! or at least he hangs out more.

Bobby makes mopeds faster than yours and also some that are slow. like his camino, that thing blows. blows UP that is. he has a hairy tip. He's our pro rider.

Jeremie a.k.a. Jer bear a.k.a. Jock Jamz will knock you out cold (or at least knock your cold ones outta yer hand), beat up homeless ladies, travel through time to rape people past present and future, and be a real swell friend. his loft reeks of 2 stroke and gasoline because he stores his bikes in his living room. no wonder jeremie is slow also now in seattle.

Nick laughs like an ass, but his rat magnum blasts. Then he sold it. he crashes randomly but it's always a good surprise. He wants a hairy tip, but he has to save up for it.

There's always Skip. Skip is currently the longest surviving old cum baby in the world. His friends and loved ones are shocked every day that he oozes his way out of bed.

Eugene is the first affirmative action member of the Swoops, was voted in for extra diversity and also the fact that he would ride 69 miles every Sunday just to do the 15 mile morning ride (what a retard). he is usually masturbating to drift cars or Sprees, but every once in a while he rides something cool.

Rob Wonder tm. he shot at hoodrats once for trying to fuck with the swoops. real gang shit. real talk. also used a tek-9 in doing so. but he's really a big teddy bear. minus the "teddy" part...

Brooks Rayman is a nice guy but if you push him too far he just might... come at him you get cut. naw, you won't.. brooks will most likely hurt himself trying to hurt you.

Andres! he's not black but asians think he is. He is one of the raddest dudes in the world tho, so that's why he's a swoop. since he is hispanic, he also provided the food for the Swoop rally. fact.

Andy Sapp. he's our boy. kill or be kill or else - slidestyle

Ross is the reason we're called swoon johnnys sometimes. HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY?! fucking sexpot.

Matt Turner makes us cool stuff and makes himself cool stuff, like really fast hobbit/caminos and cuztom swoops pinkie rings and iphone backs. TRY to be as real as the swoops, i dare ya.

Tom Stearns is not to be confused with tommiegun tom sterns, the pedophile. OUR tom is not a pedophile. but he DOES have a Delorian. you can pick up underage kids way easier in a Delorian than you can in a rape van. just sayin'

Kevin rarely leaves "campus" his guarded ivory tower around his home, work and pizza place. maybe he does leave, but he's so damned fast noone ever sees him, except at rides and rallies and anytime there's moped fun to be had.

ALSO JORDAN is official now! congrats ya little dumb fuck.


They held their first lil moped rally in July of 2010. BREAKDOWN AND DIE. Ludacris didn't attend, and as a result they have NO cred. http://vimeo.com/12474458

then did it again a year later: BREAKDOWN AND DIE HARDER http://vimeo.com/29094104


4th was a blast. "I'M GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT" : http://www.mopedarmy.com/forums/read.php?1,3486870 including jumping scooters off people's heads and ~30ft thru the air. If you missed it, whoops!

See also

They've got a website

They've also got a Facebook page

FUCK THE SWOOPS! (god blast the swoops)