Moped songs
Funky Moped by Chris Rohmann, recorded by Jasper Carrott
1n September 1975 Jasper Carrott's song "Funky Moped" rose to #5 on the UK top 40 charts. Nigel who runs www.yearsofgold.uk offers an explanation for the popularity of this unusual single.
"Jasper appeared on Top Of The Pops he always performed "Funky Moped", and that was also the one played on the top 20. Alas no one liked it, so he needn't have bothered. People were buying it for "Magic Roundabout" which wasn't a song at all. It was in fact one of his comedy routines, but one that couldn't possibly be aired when children may have been listening (Radio one were quite responsible then, they wouldn't even play records that might have encouraged drug taking as they do now). It was based on the popular children's TV show by the same name, but in this version Dougal the dog empties his bladder over Florence, and Florence 'gets off' with Dylan the spaced out rabbit. Jasper reached number five and did not hit the chart again."
Chris Rohmann, writer of "Funky Moped," adds: "I wrote the song (original title "Little Big Bike" as a two-parody of two pop genres of the 50s and 60s -- teenage tragedy songs like "Tell Laura I Love Her" and "Leader of the Pack" and biker/car songs like "Little Honda" and "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena" with the Beach Boys/Jan & Dean harmonies. Jasper and I did a folk club tour together in 1974, and performed the retitled version of it which was a big hit with the audiences. When Jasper landed a recording contract with DJM Records, they wanted a single and he said, "This is the only song I know." It was produced by Jeff Lynne, leader of the Electric Light Orchestra, with members of the band in the studio, including drummer Bev Bevan, Jasper's longtime pal (that's Bev doing the low-bass "Funky Moped"). For the recording, Jasper put on a thick Brummie accent (which we hadn't done in our live performance) which made the song fairly opaque to a lot of people -- including my friend Paul Gambaccini, the BBC DJ, who was puzzled but fascinated by its sudden appearance on the charts -- mostly thanks to the B Side "Magic Roundabout," as Nigel points out. It was a strange, fluky hit, and I would argue that Nigel was wrong when he said "no one liked it," as witness the various homemade YouTube videos that have used it, including one titled "My favorite song," and the fact that I'm still receiving royalties on it, including, lately, from ringtones! Love it or hate it, it's part of the culture now.
PS - the chorus goes "Move, Funky Moped," not "Blue Funky Moped" as this site originally had it and others still do ~ don't know whose ears are responsible for that....
Funky Moped Lyrics
The lights were groovy colours,
The band was playin' slow,
We danced just one dance together,
Then she said...
I've Gotta Go Now.
I brushed away a tear drop,
And followed her outside,
Where a long haired yob on a cycle was waiting to gi'e her a ride,
I'll never forget, that freak she went with,
Tell him he'd better leave town,
Cos as soon as me moped's front mud guard is fixed,
Gonna find the creep and put him down.
(Down Down)
When I get me moped out on the road I'm gonna ride ride ride,
When I get me moped out on the road I'm gonna ride ride ride,
When I get me moped out on the road, aint nobody gonna tell me where to go no
When I get me moped out on the road I'm gonna ride ride ride ride ride....
(Funky Moped)
[Chorus]
Move, Funky Moped,
Move, Funky Moped,
Move, Funky Moped,
Move, Funky Moped,
Move move move move move funky moped go.
(Funky Moped)
When I'm on me moped rockin' and a sockin' I'll ride ride ride,
When I'm on me moped rockin' and a sockin' I'll ride ride ride,
When I'm on me moped rockin' and a sockin', everywhere I go the chicks are movin and a groovin,
Wigglin’ an’ a-gigglin’, dancin’ an’ a-prancin’, beamin’ an’ a-screamin’ ---
When you see me moped steamin’ with funk, you’d betta ride, ride, ride
When you see me moped (oooh what a hunk!) you’d betta ride, ride, ride
When you see me moped, steamin’ with funk,
You know I’m out to burn up every motor scooter punk, yeah!
When you see me moped, you’d better take your piece of junk
And ride, ride, ride, ride, ride
Funky Moped!
[Chorus]
Puch Maxi Techno remix of Herbie Hancock's Rockit
Little is known about the origins of this song and few words are recognizable. A translation would be great but the language is unknown.
My danish girlfriend just translated this fabulous Masterpiece. She says: "He raps in this thick farmer accent and their words are not like normal Danish.. but here is what I could make out."
Shouting: Stop that drunken negromusik!
Puch Maxi, it's a cool machine
Puch Maxi, don't f'ing laugh
Puch Maxi, this bitch is fine
Puch Maxi, it's better than yours
Puch Maxi, it's a cool machine
Puch Maxi, don't f'ing laugh
Puch Maxi, this bitch is fine
Puch Maxi, it's better than yours
Why would you drive Yamaha if you could drive Puch
If you had a ??? i say f*ck...
It's a Puch Maxi cuz I know what it can do
1 cylinder and 60 cubic something something its great mechanics
It's cheap to run, it goes far on the liter
It's super cool when you are leaving and your drunk
Something about the young not driving puch maxis anymore...
But Harald is a man with style and I drive my maxi and I am proud
And if a cop says stop, I slam the speeder and burn rubber
If you think I'll stop your stupid
Something something I don't like police and I don't give a crap about traffic laws
Cuz my maxi drives 110!!
It's all tuned up... that's something we like
Puch Maxi, it's a cool machine
Puch Maxi, don't f'ing laugh
Puch Maxi, this bitch is fine
Puch Maxi, its better than yours
Every Saturday I go for a drive
With Conny in the back, other wise she gets mad
We go to the forest and then she sux my dick
Then we go to town and get something to drink
Something something Harald gets going on cleaning the ??? (names of puchmaxi parts)
I clean my Maxi so the polish shines, it makes an impression on the women
And you who are listening to this song
And you who think you are so cool
You all get going getting a Maxi, it's fucking good, it's the best machine, get that in your brain!!!
Puck Maxi, its a cool machine etc
Crazy Frog Ringtone
The crazy frog is not a song about a moped but rather an irritating imitation of a two-stroke engine. The original sound file has been turned into a mobile ringtone as well as spawning an entire crazy frog remix-album
Bowling for Soup - Girl all the Bad Guys Want - Drink Enough to Dance (2002)
Pop song about the geeky guy want to be with the hot hard core girl has the following lyrics:
Now I am watchin' wrestling
Tryin' to be a tough guy
Listenin' to rap metal
Turntables in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache
And I ain't got no season pass
All I got's a moped...moped....moped.....
Bryan of Myrons - "Moped Ride" - 2003
Song written about mopeds, based on the experiences of owning and riding a 1980 Sachs Westlake with a 'B' engine, the Myron's Moped rides and dreaming of escaping the Orange Curtain through the Santa Ana Canyon aka the 91 Corridor. Artist has written and published additional songs about mopeds and other 2-wheeled transport
[1] Youtube.com/themopedmetallist
In Color by Cheap Trick
The back cover of this album is a black and white image of Rick Nielsen and Bun E. Carlos on mopeds, contrasting the color image of Robin Zander and Tom Petersson on motorcycles seen on the front.
Kent Blander - Dave B
While this song does not actually mention mopeds, it is based on a true story involving the hit and run accident of Dave B of the Decepticons. The song can be heard on the band's Myspace.
Lyrics:
I know we've never met
But your accident I could never forget
That SUV mowed you down
And now they're looking for him all over town
I hope they find him and you get revenge
Another hit and run but on them again
Let's track them down, see this through
And maybe someday I'll get to meet you
Get well soon Dave Brzezicki
I don't know how to pronounce your last name
But I hope you're feeling fine
Jimmy Fallon - Road Rage
Lyrics:
Road Rage
My knuckles are white and my face is bright red
Road Rage
Doing 65 on a suped-up moped
Road Rage
Throw a Kit -- Hollywood Holt
This catchy song by Hollywood Holt is full of moped jargon and moped culture references. A few key lyrics are featured in some of the art on the Moped Art page.
Nous on Roule a Mobylette
A song about the Mobylette. Anyone who speaks French, please feel free to offer up some kind of translation.
I Was Riding My Solex
A somewhat whimsical song about Solexes.