Well I got it to run for about 2 seconds after putting in a new plug and cleaning the points, but only after pedaling like a madman, and had gas blowing back out of the air intake and later on, out of the end of the exhaust.
After trying to start it a bunch, I noticed gas also leaking out of where the exhaust meets the cylinder, so i decided i needed to seal that better. I originally re-used an old gasket there, but I had a new one on hand and wanted to really wrench it down. It's a boss pipe that has the fat header and needs to have those long brass nuts from treats that are super hard to work with, so I figured i could get it on there better if I just took the cylinder off and put the pipe on it, then put the cylinder/pipe back on as one piece. In the process, I snapped a piston ring and ripped the base gasket! Good times.
When I had the pipe off though, I poured a TON of gas out of it, so maybe, just maaaybe when I was trying to start it with a bad spark plug, the exhaust became blocked with gas that had nowhere else to go since it sure as hell wasnt getting burned.
Everything is in pieces now. Piston ring and base gasket is on its way to me from thee kingdom of treats. (edited)