Then either seek medical help for your depression if it's that debilitating, (it can be) or get out and work so you can make something of yourself, that will help a lot and give you more choices, you can build your bike, you can save up and move, whatever you want, but you have to take some initiative, the world will not come to you. It's busy! There has to be somewhere you can work? If you don't do one of the above you will remain as you are, and you are clearly not happy as things are. You only have so many "working years" in your life and if you waste them you will be in a real jam when you are older, only one thing worse than being broke, and that's being broke and old. I wasted a LOT of my productive years being a partying mess, not saving/planning ahead etc, and I would give anything to have those yrs back, but you can NEVER have them back, I caught it in time, but I will never retire well off, prob work until I die to supplement ss and whatever I can jam into a 401k between a few yrs ago and then, I may have to live out my "golden years" in an RV out west where it is always warm so as to not have to pay rent somewhere, not that that is all bad, I'm not at all a materialistic person and can really stretch a dollar, but I sure could have done better had I applied myself more when younger, don't be me, fix yourself, sooner than later, address mental health issues, drug and alcohol use, get a clear head and put your nose to the stone, you think you don't have energy now? Add 20 yrs to your age, you will not feel as well, have the same stamina etc...and work will suck way more than it will at 30...I still do 10 hrs days so I can either have a 3 day weekend, or suck up some overtime on Friday's, I used to do all that and party like a rock star daily, and never got tired, now just working 40 hrs a week and I'm sober and it whips my ass. But I "have" to or I'm going to be really fucked later in life. I have a plan, you need one too, mine will not be perfect for you anymore than the next guy's would work for me, YOU have to make decisions, YOU have to decide where you want to be...I don't know how to be anymore clear...the 13 yrs will not go away, but people grow and change, you need to as well. Life is not a great big party unless you have a trust fund. I get depression, mine is not as bad as yours may be, but if it IS that bad GET HELP. It exists. If you think you would be miserable at a job what's the difference, you are miserable now, but at least you would get some money and have health insurance to help with any treatment you may need, but you have to ENGAGE with the world to get any help. If you were not taught how to live for whatever reason there are life skills classes out there, take one! Learn, change, just DO SOMETHING! Inertia will get you nowhere. I read something about depression somewhere, when you just feel like laying in bed all day,(been there, done that) you don't piss on yourself do you? No, you get up and use the bathroom, if you can do that, you CAN go outside and walk around the block, seems like nothing, but it's a start. Every journey starts with a single step. Take it, or your situation will NEVER change. If you are not working, you are living off someone, at some point they will move on in their lives and want you out, what then? Skid row, and from there, WAY harder to move forward, much more likely death or prison. Think about it man, you can save yourself.