Whatever your "syndromes" are each and every one is exacerbated by alcohol, stop that, and while mental health issues may not be "cured" they will improve. If you choose to go on the road to find yourself or whatever, you CAN NOT drink like you can if you have an address, you WILL fuck up, you WILL lose your dl/your vehicle, and your freedom. If you got to get fucked up, have a bit of weed, less penalties, less stupid behavior when used. Ask me how I know, if you intend to be a drinker you need a place to lock yourself in to avoid those who do not approve, and the police. You get mouthy when you drink, so you also need to stay away from people, as you could end up with an ass kicking. If you intend to continue to drink you need a safe place in your name to do it. Think your next moves through slowly, thoroughly and carefully, I like Dan's advice too, but you have to be sober for it to work, and not make your life worse, and yeah, it CAN get worse. If your disability assistance allows you to work even limited hrs get a job in a restaurant, they always need people, and you will never go hungry. Challenge yourself to stay sober for a month, that's what I did, don't lie to yourself and say you will never take another drink, that just compels your reasons for drinking to assert themselves and make you start. They are not going to stop making booze it will always be there, but once you feel better you may be able to add one day to the month, and another and another...one day at a time. I can't do AA, in spite of being court ordered multiple times, it made me want to drink MORE, but that's me, it works wonders for many people, it's free, give it a try if you have not. Sometimes there are doughnuts... :) If it's not for you, you have not lost anything. You have been given a chance in life by being granted this disability settlement, don't piss it away, THINK hard about what each and every dollar can do for you and make the most of every cent. Also, remember this, nobody and I mean NOBODY likes a whiner, toughen up, don't complain, there are people out there far worse off than you! I had to have this beaten into my head too, but once I did my life was far better. You have already wasted the best yrs of your life by 30, don't waste the 2nd best.