Re: sex moves

"the sidescroller"

"the peoples choice"

"the scottish whip"

"burning down the house"

"the Urkle"

The "Groogrux King"

"the merrimac"

The "squabbler's fortune"

"the Pac-Man"

The "peacock's choice"

"grandma's special boy"

"the waterboard"

"the Ram Jam"

Re: sex moves

i really think kansas john should tell you about the sneaker snacker... it's a lot like the rusty trombone, just with your feet.

Re: sex moves

ps - i didn't even notice kansas john was already in this thread.. but just so everyone knows... Kansas John is THE master of coming up with new sex moves & naming them accordingly.

He totally wins.

Re: sex moves

Aw, Erinl, this thread is about PRETEND sex moves.... but yes, inventing ACTUAL new sex moves is way harder.

Re: sex moves

me and the wife came up with a short list over dinner:

the "jazz singer"

the "hot tin roof"

the "little rascal"

the "big rascal"

the "message in a bottle"

the "rocky rhode island red"

the "lost softness"

the "letter to the editor"

the "spirit of christmas"

the "huckleberry hound"

"trump towers"

the "earthquake of '96"

the "_original_ earthquake of '96"

the "gilded zinger"

the "wood splinter"

the "sham-wow"

the "deep south"

the "there's a kind of hush (all over the world)"

the "hand sanitizer"

the "jamaican bobsled team"

Re: sex moves

i always thought that the old slam dunk names sounded like sex moves

the 360 tomohawk slam

behind the back double pump slam

shattering the backboard

the alley-oop

the cherry picker

hell, even NON dunk moves

the lay up

the hook shot

getting stuffed

throwing bricks

air ball

the screen press

power forward


Re: sex moves

sooo, kansas john... when are we gonna make up some new sex moves?

Re: sex moves

The Big Lebowski

Re: sex moves

stop by friendly's with your ladie friend and have her order you a "clown sunday", then bring her into the restroom for a "blumpkin"

sex moves

don't forget the "packed bearings"

the "leaky petcock"

the "vienna sausage"

and the "accident my cousin had on the slip and slide"

Re: sex moves

the "targaped". involves a toilet seat and canada

or the black pearl...ew

Re: sex moves

GAR Name: BLAST! /

the hot tamale

the manwhich

the bacon bit

the daddy pony

the wet mermaid

the hamburgler

he land of the lost

reverse cougar


the secret sauce

baby food

cookie monster ice cream cake

Re: sex moves

GAR Name: BLAST! /

that' supposed to be "the" land of the lost ... I think baby food is best, but it's hard to top Quatto ...

Re: sex moves

The brown hogan

Re: sex moves

my favorite...."the chupacabra" - you havent lived until you have felt warm intestine on your dick.

Re: sex moves

buy her a strap on

Re: sex moves

Midlife Crisis Alan /

John Grisham's 'The Rainmaker'

The Event Horizon

The lady from Event Horizon with no eyes

The part in Event Horizon when Giovanni Ribisi shot blood out of his eyes and stuff

The Geordi LaForced sexual intercourse

The can we stop for a minute? You're on my bladder

The 'the guys who do the dick in the box schtick just aren't that funny.'

The 'Barney the Dinosaur sodomy scandal'

Re: sex moves

Re: sex moves

no groms no blasters /

sex is disgusting and boring

Re: sex moves

Midlife Crisis Alan /

Yet 'secks' is refreshingly postmodern.

Re: sex moves

no groms no blasters /

y helo thar

you should check out the rip davkitts thread, if you haven't.

Re: sex moves

Midlife Crisis Alan /

And you check out the thread where I ignored serene.

Re: sex moves

the "denver bobcat"

the "rocky mountain bear fucker"

the "glade plug-in"

the "poindexter"

the "best in show"

the "grilled stuffed burrito"

the "king in the castle"

the "white castle"

the "business hug"

the "happy camper"

the "family reunion"

the "fortune cookie"

the "rally pack"

the "chad burke"

the "salad shooter"

the "nutella"

the "long distance phonecall"

the "wet burrito"

the "continental"

the "continental breakfast"

the "hat trick"

the "mouse trick"

the "three musketeers"

the "kalamazoo tire iron"

the "meal replacement"

the "Meal Ready to Eat (MRE)"

the "stimulus package"

the "detroit stimulus package" (similar to the previous but with fists)

the "wash and wax"

the "tommy lee jones"

the "luther vandross"

the "andrew buck michael"

the "pencil sharpener"

the "portland pilates"

the "david alan grier"

the "martin scorsese leapfrog"

and last but not least the "jona"

Re: sex moves

Oh I've been on the recieving end of the "jona".

Now I get these cold sores...

Re: sex moves

as have i. but honestly a good ol' "jona" is so worth the sores.

Re: sex moves

poor Quatto....hahaha dont know why but laughed my ass off at reading that(not to self Wash hand before AND after meeting quatto then shaking hands)

Re: sex moves

Sullivan & Sullivan,llp /

I usually just give them the "Irish blessing"

Re: sex moves

I learned something called the bear a few years back, it was in a book.

Re: sex moves

The "Beaver and Butt-head"

The "Wireless G-spot Adapter"

The "Soft Sleize"

The "Epileptic Mongoose"

The "Double Jewel Case" (In my dreams)

The "Banker's Box"

The "Cumcast Remote"

The "Big Gulp"

The "Emissions Inspection"

The "Jewel of the Nile"

The "Far Beyond Driven"

The "Post Trystie" (In the morning)

The "Bluetooth"

The "Bobble-Head" (For in a car)

The "Pok'er Hand"

The "Aussie 3-Minute Miracle"

The "Earbud" (Kinda weird)

The "#69 Powerjet"

The "Pro-pain and Propane Accessories" (Kinda rough)

The "Athlete's Foot"

The "Finnish Nail"

The "Oompah-Loompah" (Best for the height-challenged)

The "Spirulina Special" (Healthy but requires cleanup after)

The "Paper Ream"

The "Barack Oh'Mama"

The "Git 'er Done"

The "Robot Chicken"

Oh God, Somebody stop me...

Re: sex moves

The Thyristor

The Tranzimo

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