In October 1998 I was riding my Honda Express, (1978, no pedals). I had one 16 oz glass of beer at the place I was working. A cop pulled me over to tell me I needed to wear a helmet. He was really mad when I told him that legally, a helmet was not required.
I got arrested, tested and at the station, I blew a ".02" the legal limit for an adult in Maine is ".08"
So, he tried to prove that I was "high" as well as "drunk". I refused any further tests and so I ended up with a "mandatory" 9 month license suspension for refusing the drug test. I didn't receive any criminal charges, but I did have to go to a whole weekend "Drunk Driver" seminar where they made me sleep over with a bunch of clowns one step up from 'stew-bums'.
It was a terrible thing all the way around. The people at the seminar were all severe cases and there I was ".02 on a moped". I'm a non-drinker-- it was odd that I had one beer that night, but a friend insisted on buying me one.
Anyway, if I hadn't treated the cop like an asshole from the beginning of the stop, I probably would have been allowed to drive off...
I learned a lot about from this, so I don't really regret it. My wife did have to listen to "what a victim I was..." for about a year.
Hope you laugh, learn or at least find it interesting.