M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Wayne Broderick /

May 26, 2001 09:20PM

Another thing I'm working on. I find that I'll be going the speed limit, or even 5 -10 miles over it. Cars think that because I'm at or near my top speed, they can tailgate me.

I'm working on adding a windsheild washer pump and a tiny tank to my rear rack. When I press the button, they'll get the hint.

I'm trying to determine what to actually spray on the tailgating offender.

I've been using coffee w/cream so far. My wife won't drive behind me to help me test it.

The few times I've used the prototype sprayer, people back off ASAP and turn on their wipers---!!

I'm still working on the smoke screen--- Thinking of some kind of petcock that could let oil flow into or onto the hottest parts of the exhaust manifold.

Swarm and Destroy!

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Miguel /

May 26, 2001 10:13PM

what about a paintball type of gun? then you could have a switch on your handlbars (as i suppose you do now), then fire paintballs behind you. you can carry much more ammo that way.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Ken /

May 27, 2001 12:41AM

I don't recommend this, but if you really want to smoke your tailgater you could install a fogger like they used to sell to attach to your lawn mower. I once had one on my simplicity lawn tractor for fogging the mosquitos in my yard. It drips kerosine into the muffler, where it is vaporized and produces an amazing amount of fog. Of course the insect fogger had insecticide mixed in with it. Now if they just sold idioticide I'd be in favor of it.

I love the idea of the windshield washer, now someone come up with something disgusting to put in it.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Wynneth /

May 27, 2001 01:08AM

All good ideas, but Miguel's as fun as it sounds, would get you arrested for sure. The spray I think is a great idea, the fog no. I know it all sounds so wonderful, but the fact is, if they wreck, not only will you get in deep shit if they find you, but do you want it on your conscience that you may have just caused someone to die? (Whether the person themself wrecked, or they wrecked AND caused others to.)

swarm and destroy

Wyn

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

stonnerdog /

May 27, 2001 01:11AM

well from personal experaince u should use a mixter of eggs and slight water. egg will completly ruin the paint job of any vehical, or if u dont wan to have to smell the eggs when thay go bad u could use gas/engion treatment it will eat the paint off too.

swarm and distroy

stonnerdog

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Michael /

May 27, 2001 01:32AM

Brake fluid also works great for ruining paint..

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Wayne Broderick /

May 27, 2001 01:58AM

Don't want to damage anything or anyone-- ! Also, was sorta kidding about the smoke screen-- (But, knowledge is power!)

What I would prefer is to have something that would have little effect if the person was a resonable distance. But, too close, and... awww, crap, I just washed my SUV....

Just a light mist of double strength powdered milk. Lots of little pain in the ass dots.

I have a coffee cup holder mounted up front on my Targa. One morning a jerk was tailing me, so I grabbed the cup and sloooowly poured it over my left shoulder.

Backed off.... lots of nice creamy spots...(sugary too, mmmmm).

(Bing! the gears began turning...)

It would be pretty darn cool to build a "james bond" ped. "For off road use only...."

Maybe a potato cannon up front? Air horns, disco ball, rotating yellow "tow truck" light... etc. Super Moped.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Miguel /

May 27, 2001 02:24AM

i don't want to kill anyone either. that's for sure. paintball pellets wouldn't even break a windshield. it'd just be like a huge bug smashing against the windshield. but they'd know where it came from. so they'd back off.

but i like the liquid idea. might be better, in the end.

i'm worried about the fogger, since i'm afraid of catching my own bike on fire. but i'm sure if it was done right, that wouldn't happen. theyre's a downside, though ... the fog might also mean you can't see how much closer they are from you ...

liquid projectiles of some sort sound better, in the end.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

don-ohio /

May 27, 2001 08:58AM

Hi! Guys,you are forgetting one thing! If you're by yourself there are some idiots out there who wouldn't care to have an excuse to hurt you! they're wielding 3000-6000 lbs. or more to your 125 lb. machine. I would not spray them with anything unless you have a death wish. I know you guys are fun-lovers,and having been squeezed off the road into a ditch by an idiot in a pickup I can promise you it ain't near fun.BYE! `DEATH TO ROAD RAGERS!!!!!!!!!!'

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Chris Robertson /

May 27, 2001 11:51AM

The last thing you need is some crazy drunk guy tailgating you in his pickup truck equipped with union jack flags, a gun rack, and Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mud flaps suddenly deciding he hates you more than the government and those black helicopters he keeps seeing...

The squirt thing is a good idea, but use it judiciously. Save it for the Soccer Moms and Gap Guys.

Do not use it on:

- Hillbillies,

- Rednecks,

- Police,

- Any car containing football players,

- Any vehicle covered in blood, or

- Ice cream trucks.

Chris.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Reeperette /

May 27, 2001 12:21PM

Bah, what werks fer me is to slowly draw out my length of chain and give it a coupla spins as I begin to slow down.

They usually get the point.

-Ree

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Richard /

May 27, 2001 01:45PM

Your best bet would be salty water. I'll dry to a crusty haze (rememer winter??) that will definately get the point across. My personal choice is to slow down to the point where I'm just going fast enough for my tire to rotate. They'll either go around or back off. Either way, I'm in front!!!!!

Richard

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Ken /

May 27, 2001 03:42PM

Try to keep this in perspective Wyn, this is all in fun.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Ron Brown /

May 27, 2001 05:21PM

Chris,

Just for the record, the Union Jack is the British flag. I don't think I have ever seen anyone resembling the people described here displaying one.

Well, maybe a crazy drunk.

Ron

Chris Robertson wrote:

>

> The last thing you need is some crazy drunk guy tailgating

> you in his pickup truck equipped with

union jack flags,

a gun

> rack, and Yosemite Sam "Back Off" mud flaps suddenly deciding

> he hates you more than the government and those black

> helicopters he keeps seeing...

>

> The squirt thing is a good idea, but use it judiciously.

> Save it for the Soccer Moms and Gap Guys.

>

> Do not use it on:

> - Hillbillies,

> - Rednecks,

> - Police,

> - Any car containing football players,

> - Any vehicle covered in blood, or

> - Ice cream trucks.

>

> Chris.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Chris Robertson /

May 27, 2001 05:37PM

You're right, Ron.

I meant "confederate flag" not "union jack". My bad.

Chris.

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Ron Brown /

May 27, 2001 05:56PM

Chris,

Anyone who uses the phrase:

> You're right, Ron.

is automatically forgiven. Besides, it's tough to piss off an Englishman.

Ron

Re: M.R.D.S (Moped Rear Defense System)

Wayne Broderick /

May 27, 2001 06:06PM

I agree with Chris--! You'd need to use good judgement--! For me, it would be the fact that I could spray if I really wanted too. I like the suggestion about heavily salted water-- that would be great-- no damage but a P.I.A.

a lot of my friends live around me-- any weekend I'll run into someone I know driving. I would die laughing if one of my friends called--

"hi, Wayne..."

"Hey, Bob.. I saw you today-- You were behind me on Broadway!!"

"Yeah...uh... Did your moped spray something on my car?"

"I take the fifth..."

MOPED ARMY

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