Here's the story
That compression problem I thought I had? Non-existent. I thought I was losing compression because after I tightened the head it ran for awhile and then acted up again. I ordered new head bolts because I thought that the cylinder and head were just sensetive to torque, and I thought maybe my bolts weren't stretching at the right rate or something. But the whole problem turned out to be the spark plug boot! Puch spark plug boots have a metal exoskeleton thing on them and, for some reason, there was current going to it. So when I pulled the plug to check spark, it sparked through the spark plug because the boot was about an inch from any metal. Then, when I put the plug back in the engine and put the boot on it, the exoskeleton was right up next to the cooling fins and sending current to the head. My brother caught this when he was looking at the head as I was trying to start it. I couldn't see that area when I was pedaling, so I would have never caught it alone.
But I was right about the fact that it was getting spark! It was just going to the wrong place at the wrong time.
And I thought my engine was fucked!