Yes, and the original post that you wrote was ever so adult.
We all got it. You were just not amusing. And your advice about mechanics, while possibly well-intended (though it came off as insulting) is silly; you'd run into bills costing more than the original moped. They're really quite simple machines to work on; even I, the not-at-all-mechanically-inclined type, now knows what her carb is, how to take it apart, and put it back together again...all thanks to Moped Bill, not a mechanic.