Right on Beanie and Ree. I'm glad we're all on the same page. Except for the pot and hack thing. I never really got into that myself. But when you first posted and said "hooded knights" and running from cops I had this image of really horrible Slim-Shady-wana-be white-ass ghetto kids running around being real assholes. But I'm VERY glad to know that's not the case. ;-)
OK, so you're having trouble finding mopeds? In Colorado that might be a problem. I haven't seen too many posts from people around there. But check eBay all the time. And know that shipping is often not very bad at all. Especially if you use Amtrak; and I think there must be a station around you somewhere.
There are TONS of mopeds in California, which is rather far away, but you could get some kids together for a road trip and hit some up that way. Or go north, there's a store (Scooter Therapy) that sell repaired old mopeds in Madison, WI.
But you can also check around the Moped Army buy/sell forum. There's some action that way. Also, check Excite classifieds. I've seen some CO, MT and other listings for sellers. The more you ask around, the more they might come out of the woodwork. Mopeds were really, realy hot in the 1970s. Especially among people concerned w/ gas prices and the environment. Unless things are not what I think they are, I think that might mean there should be some in Colorado, right? After all, I know John Denver would've loved mopeds! ;-)