test results are in!!

Dr. Horatio Wiggly /

I have recently conducted a thurough investigation of mopeds and their riders and have come to the conclusoin that you are all faggots. i drive and 70's muscle car which is one twintillion times better than your mopeds in all categories, including performance and not being retarded. its called a muscle car becuase all electrical and mechanical components are replaced with muscle and nerve tissue. the only promblem with it is that it is very difficult and also somewhat horrifying to work on, since the engine has been replaced with a huge eight chambered heart (each chamber makes in go faster) and requires about five master surgins to change the oil. it is also incredibly costly to feed, consuming about 5,000 pounds of ground beef a week. my muscle cars are far better suited to take over the earth then your slow-peds because it has the ability to breed, usually giving birth to a litter of about 5-6 baby muscle cars.

getting back to the main subject, you are all morons. I smoke a pipe and look very intellectual and impressive.

~Dr. Horatio Wiggly

Re: test results are in!!

anonimous moped rider /

this man is a genius. i realize i have wasted my life playing with toy motorcylces. i'm a disgrace to my family and my children. i'm going to throw myself off a cliff, and i think all moped riders should follow me and fac the wrath of hell that surely awaits. i hate myself.i ride a moped.

Re: test results are in!!

haha the ips of the two messages are the same, if we are all faggits then why is he wasting his time here.

Re: test results are in!!

Maybe your brain should be replaced with the same mucsle and nerve tissue you put into your car.

Re: test results are in!!

Ron Brown /

We obviously have a dual personality here. One suffering from homphobia and the other suffering from penis envy. He probably finds it so hard to get along with himself, we should all offer our condolences.

Re: test results are in!!

I think it is sad how one guy, named Professor Ludwig von beauty, thinks he is so smart by using big words and thinking he is the only loquacious person in this forum. He goes by (or a friend) Dr. Horatio Wiggly and is quite stupid, because he also uses the name "anonimous moped rider". He spelled the word anonymous wrong and he has the same IP address as Dr. Horatio Wiggly which lead me to believe that "anonimous moped rider" is Dr Horation Wiggly. To conclude this statement, i find this guy, Dr. Horatio Wiggly, horrible at hiding who he is and has no plan before he does anything.

Tom King

moped army

Re: test results are in!!

Dr. Horatio Wiggly /

i find it hard to believe that you people can sit there and critisize me. you ride mopeds for christ's sake. mopeds are about the mosted laughed at mode of transportation in the world. what i think would be impressive is a website for people who get around by firing themselves out of cannons. i still have no respect for you and i am considering forming a vigilante group that hunts down moped riders and beats them with num-chucks.

~Dr. Horatio Wiggly

Can't Wait!

I can't wait until i see you. I mean it is really hard to find all of these fellow moped riders. And why don't you use your "num-chucks" to hit us too. It's great to see a few people who can't spell try to hunt us down.

Tom King

moped army

Re: Can't Wait!

Dr. Horatio:

As an educated man (as you pretend yourself to be by the appelation "Dr."), you should appreciate a few mistakes in your reasoning. I will not even mention your grammar ...

The statement that "mopeds are about the most laughed at mode of transportation in the world" is a very vague statement. After all, there are many means of transportation. I could use a pogo stick for transportation, for example. Or how about a sleigh pulled by several hundred mice? Other than the general vagueness of your statement, you do not provide any evidence. A general social survey of some large quantity of randomly chosen respondents would be necessary. Of course, the sample population would have to reflect the world at large (a very daunting project, indeed!) in order to verify the use of "in the world". Secondly, your survey instrument would have to be diverse enough to apply to all cultures (here we enter translation problems) and also different modes of transportation. Both of these problems pale in comparison to the question ordering problem and instrument validity tests. I suppose a Q-sort methodology could be used, but considering the cultural diversity of the sample population, it would be most difficult to construct. In essence, such a survey (utterly necessary to assess the validity of your statement) is impractical, if not entirely unfeasable.

Also, I'm not entirely sure such a survey would confirm your claim. Many people cheer us on when we ride mopeds. Children wave excitedly and become wide-eyed (surely you would have to include this 1/5 of the world's population in your survey sample). Bottom line: I think mopeds are rather more admired than you would expect.

I am happy to read that you would be impressed by a website dedicated to people who launch themselves out of cannons. That would impress me as well (though I'm sure such websites are already there). [Though I believe you mentioned a light-speed rocket car? This is more dangerous and laughable than a cannon.] Regardless, I, for one, have great respect for the daredevils that launch themselves out of cannons. So, yes, I would be greatly impressed. Whether or not I would be impressed with their website, of course, is another matter. If the site is poorly designed, my interest would soon fade.

Now, as to your forming a vigilante group to hunt us down: I'm not sure why you would even bother. Also, your choice of weapons (num-chucks) is rather interesting. This is a most difficult and unwieldy weapon. I suppose you must also be highly coordinated and/or a weapons expert in addition to your other many talents.

In any event, we look forward to your "hunting us down." It would be quite interesting. We are, after all, America's toughest moped gang for no small reason. Also, be careful in Kalamazoo. The police here are quite fond of us, as we often help them out with our own brand of vigilante justice (chalk up a several arrests and stolen property recoveries to our name).

Cheers!

Re: Can't Wait!

Brandon E. /

Miguel. One word. AWESOME! That was something that totally had to be said!

Re: Can't Wait!

Reeperette /

I see your nunchaku and raise you one manriki-gusari...

(For those not familiar with weapons of the art, it's basically 3 feet of chain with a master lock at either end.)

Feel FREE to stop in memorial day weekend and try me.

-Ree

Re: test results are in!!

Professor Luwig von Beauty /

My dearest sir, I do not use 'big' words, I merely speak the way I was raised, and that is in a proper, educated manner. If that is not the norm anymore, then it is not my fault that my speech is superior to the normal, 'moped-riding Joe'. And I can assure you that I have never met a doctor named Horatio Wiggly.

Signed,

Love,

Professor Ludwig von Beauty

Re: Can't Wait!

Professor Luwig von Beauty /

I was very interested in your comments about travelling by pogo stick, as well as the mouse-sleigh, and I shall get to work on those as soon as have the time. However, I would like to point out a large detail you somehow overlooked. It was actually I who traveled in the Godspeed rocket car (which is powered by the Nova laser, from California), and you attributed this feat to one Dr. Horatio Wiggly, who I highly doubt could perform such a momentous experiment. Second, I would like to make an addendum to your 'world opinion' theory. While it is true that it would be very difficult to get an opinion from everyone on earth (in one lifetime, at least), there are those who have never even seen a moped. So, those people would have to be ruled out, as they would be experiencing a new thing, and so, of course, it would be a thing of wonder for them. Also, I would like to state that my opinion of the most laughed-at mode of travel would most likely have to be strapping midgets to your body and having them run very quickly while flapping their arms and making a 'wooowooooowoooowoooo' sound.

Signed,

Love,

Professor Ludwig von Beauty

Re: Can't Wait!

munckinman /

Professor, I'm offended by the word midget, I prefer little people, and I do make the wooowooowooo sound when I'm having sex.

Re: Can't Wait!

Ron Brown /

Please, vertically challenged is the pc way.

Re: Can't Wait!

I can

Re: Can't Wait!

Professor Ludwig von Beauty /

I don't know why, but you people don't seem to understand: I am Professor Ludwig von Beauty. I am not this supposed 'Doctor' who goes by the name of "Horatio Wiggly". If you have something to say about what he has written, then I recommend that you reply to his name, not mine. I have never threatened to "beat-down" ANYBODY, much less some perfect strangers on the internet. I do not appreciate being called juvenile names, especially when you do not even have your replies going to the correct person. So, for the last time, if you reply to MY name, then make sure it is about something that I have said, not some other person who happens to be in the same forum that I am in. And I assure you, the Godspeed rocket car is not imaginary; if you would like pictures, you need merely request them.

Signed,

Love,

Professor Ludwig von Beauty

TROLL ALERT

N/a

Re: TROLL ALERT

Dr. Ludwig ... or do you prefer Herr Professor Doktor? I assume you are German, das ist nicht? Allow me to reply to your response regarding my last message. I did not accuse you of using "big words", but rather of being a charlatan. Subsequently, I quite expected you to use "big words" since that seems to be the modus operendi (if not also their modus vivendi) of most charlatans.

Allow me to clarify some of my comments. I did present to you a "world opinion theory." Nor did I intend that you survey would have to include all living humans, let alone those from the past and/or future. I only stated tha a claim of fact which proposes that people, in general, ridicule mopeds and their riders must, to be valid, be supported by evidence. I intended to demonstrate that this evidence is untenable, since it would necessarily require a survey of the opinion of various people's concerning mopeds. Such a moped would have to be representative of the moped-conscious population to be valid. Even if we ignore areas of the world where mopeds are completely (or nearly completely) unknown, a conservative estimate might leave us with, say, 2-3 billion people. We don't have to survey all of them. That would not be a survey, that would be census. Notice the differenc in terminology Herr Doktor. The survey could, in theory include only 1,400 people so long as it was representative. This is the "magic" number normally used in social scientific research techniques. However, survey theory does acknowledge that as the diversity of the population increases, the minimal number necessary to reach a representative survey also increases. This does not even begin to address the question of the validy of the survey instrument (the questionnaire, if you will) itself -- and issue which you yourself also ignored.

Also, in the spirit of responding only to comments you have made, and the added stipulation that you think of yourself as speaking more properly than the rest of us "moped-riding Joes". You claimed in your first post that after "investigation" you came to the "conclusoin" (spelling error here, yours, not mine) that moped riders are "faggots." An interesting turn of a phrase, indeed! Since you seem to present yourself as an Anglophile (that is, using a "British" accent and mannerisms), you would note that "faggot" is not the slang term used for homosexuals (which you, no doubt, intended to imply). Rather, "faggot" is slang for cigarette. Faggot also literaly means a bundle of wood. Did you intend to mean that moped riders are bundles of wood? Or cigarettes? Whatever do you mean, Herr Doktor?!

Re: test results are in!!

hey ass get this i have a muscle car too dipshit!! an 89 mustang gt 302 with a 347 strocker, all bbk exhaust and ram air mild cam gt-40x swirl heads ported 70mmtb and then i have another muscleride...my 99 tomos targa lx bi turbo and speed-sproket and drilled carb-jet both are vary fast just like you mom in bed!! well when u go straight and like woman go find yer mom but gfor now your dad will take care of yah tah tah--youyr pal jamez

Re: Can't Wait!

woah this is awesome (yet another graveyard pull ^-^)

Re: test results are in!!

you're an idiot...it's nun-chucks which is short for nunchaku

Re: test results are in!!

Dr. Horatio Wiggly-

Listen to me, you. When I find you I'm going to pull your eyeball out of your head and stick them down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you.

Then I'm going to use your tongue to paint my boat.

The Skeeks have cars!!

Brentus Sioux y Cycle /

The Skeeks have successfully infiltrated muscle cars!

Re: test results are in!!

Is that sarcasm i smell?

Lame-o-nade anyone??

Re: The Skeeks have cars!!

did any of you see the date on this post??? Yea I bet half these people haven't been on here in ages.

Let it go

Re: The Skeeks have cars!!

i agree with Jim. it probably was some kid who stumbled over this site looking for porn and wanted to bug us.

Re: The Skeeks have cars!!

Dear, Dr. Horatio Wiggly

You have visited the Moped Army Site in the past I think.

I remember reading your post and found your post.

Have you been thinking alot about Mopeds and what they stand for ?

https://www.mopedarmy.com/forums/discuss/1/13373/13324/

Re: The Skeeks have cars!!

Holy crap. I never looked at the post dates. Who bothered to resurrect this post?

Ding-bat.

Re: The Skeeks have cars!!

it looks like Kenneh~ ressurected it

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