I was fired today...

I was fired today. I suppose that I should have seen it coming. My first week in, I bottomed out a brand new car and caved in the undercarriage, but somehow I retained my employment. Three days after that, I smashed the rotors of a wheel-less car that i lowered to the floor. Then I sent a minivan through the roof using the same hydraulic lift but, somehow, I retained my employment. The next day was better, I only scratched a bumper while fixing a fog light. A week goes by, things seem to be improving. I am remembering that when I complete service on a car, I should lock the doors and roll the windows up or, at the very least, turn off the headlights. Then, yesterday, I drove a car for one mile before realizing that I had forgotten to put oil in it. I suppose that sort of thing is quite important to remember but still, somehow I retained my employment.

Today I ripped open the bumper of a customer's car while backing off of the lift. Three hundred dollars. They finally let me go. I honestly don't understand how I lasted as long as I did. I never pretended to be a professional mechanic. I find comfort in the fact that school starts in less than one month. I am about to start my first semester as an English major. I've been chasing a degree in biology on and off for close to eight years now. Operating outside of my aptitudes seems to be a bad habit of mine. My 1976 DEMM Smily should be running by the start of the semester. It hasn't run since I crashed it back in 2001. That drunken crash gave me one hell of a head injury. I slurred my speech for a good two or three weeks after. If I succeed in rendering my moped operational by the start of school, I will save hundreds in fuel and parking costs.

If anyone happens to see a twenty eight year old man on a green moped tooling around the University of Maryland campus this semester, wish me luck. I'm running low.

Re: I was fired today...

Are you sure it isn't because of your unpopular views on homosexuality? I'd fire you for that alone.

Re: I was fired today...

I am a dyed in the wool, B.F. Skinner Behaviorist. Please don't confuse my philosophies for judgments. I honestly believe that I was fired solely on the basis of being a sub-par mechanic.

Re: I was fired today...

but you have a cool last name though

Re: I was fired today...

You're wrong Landon, I came out of the womb looking to suck some tit.

BOO-YEAH.

Re: I was fired today...

***Vanilla Thunder*** /

your moms tit. :p

Re: I was fired today...

wow holy cow they didn't fire u after the third car killed :S

Re: on sucking tit

You wrote that you were born with the desire to suck tit.

I agree with that statement. As was I. This was , I believe, solely for nutritional purposes though. My desire to "suck tits" in my adulthood (again, "I believe") comes from an infantile memory of the feeling of security that the mammary provided for me in my infancy.

Re: Third car

I think that they liked me and hoped that I would adjust. I came to work early, and went home late. I worked through lunch and maintained a humble attitude. In the end, though, I just didn't cut the mustard. I so wanted to cut the mustard. I saw the mustard. I had a knife. It simply didn't happen.

Re: Third car

It will not be the last time you get fired. Just shrug it off and try better next time.

Re: Third car

got i hate these "i'm going to write about my personal life even though its not moped related" threads.

Re: Third car

this is a moped site.

not a fucking shrink

Re: I was fired today...

Wow, I would have fired you a long time ago. Attentioin to details like putting oil in an engine before starting it.

Re: I was fired today...

landon is clearly not...on the level.

Re: I was fired today...

Yeah, If your gunna work on anothers persons vehicle. You'd better know what your doing. Now, How exactly did you get this job in the first place.

Re: I was fired today...

Edward Richardson /

Uh.. he mentioned head injury, so the fault would lie with the person that put a wrench in his hand rather than say a broom.

Re: I was fired today...

Landon,

Are you "medicated"?

Jackson,

Are you so lame that you can't skip to the next topic? Are you one of those people that hate looking at what you're watching on the tele, but can't lift & aim the remote to change the channel? Do you complain that you have too much spam when it takes you only seconds to delete a half dozen of them?

-- Joe

Re: I was fired today...

Well I'll look out for a Smiley in the fall, I'll be on the black sprint, don't worry if you don't see me, you'll hear me first probably.

Re: I was fired today...

Use an apostrophe. Otherwise the word looks plural. We learn these things in elementary school.

Re: wrench in my head?

Nobody put any metal objects in my head, and fault can't responsibly be assigned to a broom, or any inanimate object for that matter.

Re: wrench in my head?

Sadly enough, I still want to suck my mom's tit.

OMG JK! LOLOLOL!!!

Re: wrench in my head?

oldcodger...i don't watch much tv, but i do change the channel when i do...but yes, yes...definitely yes...i am lame. but...here is a lil secret...i think you are too!

Re: Medicated?

Was. Ritalin. The fad drug of the 80's. All the kids with lazy or uneducated parents took it. It was the thing to do. Never mind that methamphetamine use during one's formative years may be harmful to one's psyche. At least the grades didn't suffer.

Re: Medicated?

What about apostrophe use?

Re: about apostrophy usage..

Otherwise the word looks plural.

\

Peoples>people's

Cows>Cow's

Mopeds>Moped's

"The breasts nipple"

"The breast's nipple"

Apostrophes denote possession.

Re: about apostrophy usage..

Zachary Evans, Destroyer of Worlds /

Yeah man, this isn't a place to be human or anything...

I'm tired of people acting like this is sopose to be a cold and impersonal site, with no room for humanity.

Sucks you lost your job dude, seems like you definatly earned it though. I fuck up at work all the time, I'm just skilled (luckey) enough not to break anything. But I do spill a ton of oil, nearly fall on a great number of painful things, knock things off my lifts (tools/oil/not bikes). Today I lit the trashcan on fire while welding. Though in my defense, the owner came back and recomended I stop welding on the ground outside, and move to that location.

Just go for something with less expensive possible fuckups.

Or hopefully that school will land you a job in side, with nothing more dangerous than staplers and paper cuts.

Re: about apostrophy usage..

nipples

Re: I was fired today...

Dude! It sounds like you should stay far away from ANYTHING with an engine! I hope you heal up well though, for God's sake be careful!

Re: about apostrophy usage..

You missed his inappropriate and likely unintentional use of a possessive pronoun where a contraction could have been used. Keep working on it and you'll earn your very own red pen!

Re: I was fired today...

So schools a month away, but that somehow justifys fucking up peoples shit by being a dumb ass?

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