I was fired today. I suppose that I should have seen it coming. My first week in, I bottomed out a brand new car and caved in the undercarriage, but somehow I retained my employment. Three days after that, I smashed the rotors of a wheel-less car that i lowered to the floor. Then I sent a minivan through the roof using the same hydraulic lift but, somehow, I retained my employment. The next day was better, I only scratched a bumper while fixing a fog light. A week goes by, things seem to be improving. I am remembering that when I complete service on a car, I should lock the doors and roll the windows up or, at the very least, turn off the headlights. Then, yesterday, I drove a car for one mile before realizing that I had forgotten to put oil in it. I suppose that sort of thing is quite important to remember but still, somehow I retained my employment.
Today I ripped open the bumper of a customer's car while backing off of the lift. Three hundred dollars. They finally let me go. I honestly don't understand how I lasted as long as I did. I never pretended to be a professional mechanic. I find comfort in the fact that school starts in less than one month. I am about to start my first semester as an English major. I've been chasing a degree in biology on and off for close to eight years now. Operating outside of my aptitudes seems to be a bad habit of mine. My 1976 DEMM Smily should be running by the start of the semester. It hasn't run since I crashed it back in 2001. That drunken crash gave me one hell of a head injury. I slurred my speech for a good two or three weeks after. If I succeed in rendering my moped operational by the start of school, I will save hundreds in fuel and parking costs.
If anyone happens to see a twenty eight year old man on a green moped tooling around the University of Maryland campus this semester, wish me luck. I'm running low.