Tailgaters

BryAn eurism /
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I saw the 1979 safety video but cell phones didn't exist then

I was coming in from a gas run on a Cimatti on the local wreck magnet, with 4 gallons of gas on the back. And I need a hole to make a short left

I get a Jeep in the mirror bearing down. I crank the pedals. Still progressing at a high rate of speed. I crank the pedals and weave. Nothing. I crank the pedals, weave and do the 'go around wave' with my left arm. Nothing. Finally I resort to a 'brake check' and then they figure out there is a wide open left lane, which there was the whole time.

As the Jeep passes I see heavyset male with muscle shirt and buzzcut, with the 3rd handheld phone in the ear that I've just seen in the last 5 minutes alone, 17 days AFTER they're supposed to be getting rolled for doing that.

Me thru fullface: HANG UP & DRIVE

Guy every man wants to be and every woman wants to be with: WHAT the F**did you SAY?

Me: HANG.UP.&.DRIVE. HANG IT UP

Cager: (butthurt at being scolded) F** YOU!

Me to myself: I've been told worse by better

I've always liked to set myself apart from the tights-wearing pedal freaks; out to have fun but not take any crap but in those moments I felt like 'oh. one of THEM'. But the old me would have probably been out stuffing a couple Tampax down the filler tube for his gas tank at this moment

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