Stupid moves all around...

So you know those times when you are THINKING of doing something stupid and, in a split second, you are actually doing what you were thinking about without even realizing it?

yeahhh...I was nearly taken down by this idiot in a corolla when he decided to pass me on the right on a two lane road earlier. i caught up to him at the next light and, before i could even finish thinking about how righteous it would feel to hock a big fat loogie (how the fuck do you spell that shit??) on his car, I saw myself actually doing so right onto his back wndshield. Long story short, he saw it, got so angry that he felt the need to get out of his car and cuss me up and down, while setting a great example for his kid in the passenger seat. We're holding up traffic but, when the light turns green, i'm on my ped and he's still standing in the street. i tell him to fuck off as I get out of there and, before I know it, he's on my ass and laying on his horn for a good half mile or so until I turn---and he FOLLOWS me---toward my neighborhood. Thank god there was a cop on the corner directing construction traffic. I think that's what made him eventually leave me alone.

Stupid moves all around...

and then I found five dollars. that's an awful story. i'm really sorry guys.

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Thats why you wear your lock chain like a bandolier.

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You handled it exactly the way you should have.

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well, I've got a u-lock, so I'll just get a sweet mace instead.

<img src="http://www.kingofswords.com/images/WoodQuadMace.jpg"; alt="mace" />

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I had one of those out-of-body rage experiences this week, I told off that meter maid at the airport that tells you to keep moving the second you stop to pick someone up. It was like i was dreaming it or watching myself do it on tv. Best part, I'd pushed her to the limit and she was writing the ticket when my wife arrived and got in the car, I start to drive away and say "looks like I win this round" to which she growls "whatever". I slam on the brakes, lean out the window at her and yell "no, _YOU_ whatever!"

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haha.

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That man is a bad person.

Here are some more bad stories:

I had a lady nearly push me into oncoming traffic with her behemoth 'sport-utility' vehicle; I love when people just merge and shift lanes without looking.

I couldn't just slam on the brakes either, because another car was right on my ass. I kind of drove down the double yellow for a bit until I could slow down and get behind her.

At the next stop light, I very calmly pulled up, tapped on her window, and said "You almost killed me." The look of fear, shock, and bewilderment on her face made _me_ feel so guilty, all I could follow that with was "Be careful please."

Whenever someone tries to vent their road rage on me, I just pretend like I don't know what they're talking about. A guy actually followed me all the way home once to kick my ass because I cut him off. When he was yelling at me to come fight him, I said "This is my house. I'm just going home, thank you though!" I just stood there smiling at him. He got really confused and left.

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yet another reason why quatto is hilarious as shit.

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Matt Scout The Scouting Dcon /

_You almost killed me. Be careful please._

Mind if I use this? Sums it up perfectly.

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Preacher Bob /

I get that's why Jesus tells us to forgive those who tresspass against us, and do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We on mopeds certainly don't want someone horcking big greenies onto us just because we get careless. Yes, your story would have had a happier ending if you'd found a $50.

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I believe that weapon is called a FLAIL (annoying nasal-sounding voice)

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really? on kingofswords.com, it's called a wooden quadruple ball mace (as I set down my 20 sided die and push up my glasses). I know this because I truly wished for one years back.

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my Batavus has +10 healing power and is resistant to fire magic.

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That's what Carry Laws are for. Pull out your .45, and the MOFO disappears.

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Shit, I'd just make sure she saw my licensed firearm.

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Shit, I'd just make sure she saw my licensed firearm.

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Jesus? You mean the Messiah that hasn't made it yet? Lies, Lies and More Lies.

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graham should get on this thread, i think he has a good story about kickin ass and taking names.

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hahhaaa, I loved that story!

The part about realizing the act while doing it, was too funny!! Glad I'm not the only one catching myself trying to flip the _automatic_ button off, after it's too late. Glad to hear ya didn't get hurt too.

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i think you mean 'kickin' 'stache and getting numbers.'

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Ditto Aimee!!! I'm right behind you. Unfortunately I probably would have done the same thing with different results and consequences.

Also, can folks leave their fucking gods and their fucking flag waving off this board before I go into a fucking ballistic diatribe about both and a brother I lost in iraq three years ago? CAN WE!

It's about mopeds-

Do ya think!!!

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***Vanilla Thunder*** /

one night me and a few sunset riders were coming through the park when this car flew up on us honking and yelling. the guy kept trying to use whatever was in his hand, while screaming STOP AT STOP SIGNS! i kept looking over at him at a matched pace until i heard what he was saying. then i gave him the 3 minute finger. the two lane road was merging to a one lane and i thought fuck it, i cant tell if whats in this guys hand is a gun or not so if he wants to kill me heres his chance. i edged in real close to the front of his car so he couldnt make the merge into the left without running me over. it made him stop and was then directly behind us. so i slammed on the brakes and faced him for a game of chicken. thats when he got out of his car and shoved the shiny thing in my face. thats when i read a silver SFPD badge an inch from my face. STOP AT STOP SIGNS he yelled again.

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twisted cop much!

or really good halloween costume!

hahahahha

that "you almost killed me. please be careful" line was great!

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I believe it was Jesus who once said:

_"Blessed are the smug, for they shall drag me into trivial conversations to try to prove how much better they are than other people."_

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Oh Christ, I can't take any more Jesus mumbo jumbo. Why does this fictional guy always have to ruin a good time by trying to teach us something? Always! I am tired of it. Why cant he just relax and try to have a good time instead of always having to be freaking crackng an egg of knowledge on my head?

Like last night when I was drinking some red wine. Jesus said something about it was his blood and I'm all like WTF? This is made out of grapes you sick canibal, or at least I thought it was, and if its not, I am going to beat down that sick mo fo that bleed into my wine!

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and... I can't take anymore of this wwjd "what would Jesus do". For christs sake, who really knows what he would do? No one is even sure he is real? Yeah people believe in him and there is a book, and people can feel him inside of them,... But so is obi one! Feel the force! I read those books too, and how can we really be sure if star wars is not the real deal? I for one don't know fo sho.

Anywho, I still use the wwjd logic, although the j stands for my drunk aunt janet. The weird thing is is that the advice usually works out great!

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Ghost Rider brings up a good point:

Do grouchy, drunken, early morning ramblings fall into the category of stupid moves we are discussing?

I'm kinda disappointed that we all started harping on the Jesus thing, because the shit that jswift was posting was waaaaay crazier.

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god said, to err is human to forgive is devine

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this thread is so D&D, it needs a saving throw.

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