Putting your throttle on the left hand side would inevitably disturb the orbit our planets. Here's the solution:
Remove the speedo from the headlight , presto - instant cup holder. Grab about a dozen straws the next time you're at the trans fat arches and tape them all together with duct tape making a gigantic straw about 3' long. Get a rubber band and tape it to your helmet. Twist the rubber band around one end of the straw - leaving about 4" sticking out so you can spit it out just before you crash. Tape the other end to your handle bars and lead the end to your speedo hole.
The planets are safe and you'll be able to ride off into the sunset sipping your favorite beverage.