A story for everyone...

A TRUE STORY

Not all bikes are equal as not all bike owners have the same personality, ride or style. Its easier to know more about someone, after riding behind him/her for a few miles, than after chatting with them for hours. Ages ago, our friend and senior chopper excellency, Rowan Manners, sent us this wonderful and hilarious story, that fabulously captures the essence of those motorcycles we love the most. Sit back and enjoy the ride!

KICKSTARTIN’ THE FUCKER

Walk to the bike, fingers crossed, say a prayer.

Ensure all the normal leaks are present.

Look for gearbox seal oil spot on the ground to ensure it has fluid.

Turn on the choke.

Kick the bike over a few times with the switch off to get it primed.

Spin it through until you get compression.

Turn the switch on.

Kick until you have to wipe the snot from your face.

Take a break to catch your breath, count the number of people who gathered around, try to look like this is standard procedure.

Realize you are now in middle of the street, roll the bike back onto the curb, that explains the horns blowing.

Try to act as if you don’t notice the crowd snickering.

Think, must be flooded.

Turn off the choke.

Hold the throttle wide open.

Kick..kick…kick…

Notice new paint spots on the tank and realize your nose is bleeding.

Wipe the tears/snot/sweat/nose bleed combo from your face.

Swear…. at this point the word Shit is ok to use

Kick some more.

Swear….at this point the word Bitch is fine

Ignore the old man who says……you know, back in the day…….

Kick until you hear horns blowing again.

Swear…. at this point the word Fucker may be used

Don’t even wipe, just swallow the combo.

Check the points.

Turn on the choke.

Hold the throttle WFO, kick until the neighbours wife says…….you don’t look so good.

Wipe/swallow/swear

Check the plugs.

Turn off the choke.

Notice you never turned the gas on.

Swear…. you may now use the phrase ‘Come on you Cunt’

Turn gas on.

Turn choke on.

Prime engine.

Threaten motorcycle.

KICK !!

Pick yourself up from the ground in front of motorcycle.

Put out the fire in the air cleaner.

Remember to retard the timing this go-around.

Turn on the ignition.

Kick.

Engine starts…….dies.

swallow.

Kick…..success

Check gas in tank, realize there is only about a quart, meaning you will have to go through this again in about 10 minutes.

straddle bike, look both ways for traffic, realize you are in the middle of the street again.

Ride away thinking…….. screw those electric start pansies……I’m the real deal.

Source: El Solitario MC

Re: A story for everyone...

this is why manufacturers put the kick starter on the rear of the motor, so it would throw you over the handlebars, into traffic instead of the sissy bar and into the ditch where you could really get hurt.

Re: A story for everyone...

Hahaha I enjoyed that!

Re: A story for everyone...

I also enjoyed it!!!Great reading.. thanks for sharing..

Re: A story for everyone...

Çhåvëz • /

Fantastic.

Re: A story for everyone...

Good times.. Done that more than a few times on my '65 Honda CB160

Off topic

fallout Survivor /

mopeds do not have kick starters.

Motorcycle story.

Editor and moderator kill this off topic evil story.

Re: Off topic

Ancient Mariner Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> mopeds do not have kick starters.

> Motorcycle story.

> Editor and moderator kill this off topic evil

> story.

Hmm... so quarter-kicking your pedal start moped is different howww.....?

Re: Off topic

You forgot to add the part about it back firing and throwing you over the handle bars on a cold morning...this happen many a time when I was riding my old 58 650 twin BSA (Big Snorting Animal or Bastard Stalled Again) back in the day..the 70's...

Re: A story for everyone...

Yeah, in those times all of them bikes were pretty much theft proof.

Re: A story for everyone...

happened to me way too much on my puch kickstarter engine, the reason why i i will never rebuild that kickstarter e50 again

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