MOPED ARMY

Lance does some decent videography for a young guy with

other distractions. I have messed with it a bit, but nothing

as elaborate as what is shown here. My moped video is all

'raw', taken directly off the Itouch strapped between the

front handlebars of my Tomos Quadro. Here's a twenty

minute run from Glanerburg to Enschede (Holland) I did

awhile back:

Here's my attempt at a more polished video presentation.

It's a compilation of pictures from an earlier trip to

Amsterdam that I took with my wife. I used an old Simon

and Garfunkel song in the background. There's a shot of

me laying in the hotel bed with breakfast on my lap

(somewhere about the middle of the video). I had just

survived one of the most drugged-out nights in my life.

There was the usual partaking of the most delicious of

Holland's green, which in and of itself has rendered

many an American tourist in a state of stupor (or worse).

As for me, I had no trouble keeping the Earth from

spinning even when choking down prodigious amounts of

same, so long as I maintained the good sense not to bring

Jack (Daniels e.g.) along for the party. You don't want to

mix a hard drug like alcohol with a soft one like pot.

You'll end up getting stupid and it'll give the pot a bad

name.

When my wife offered me an antihistamine to help stave

off what appeared to be an oncoming cold, I gladly

accepted. About an hour later, riding the city rail, I had a

panic attack of epic proportion as my temperature soared

and I started to sweat profusely. I barely made it off the

tram before sprawling out nearly unconscious on the

sidewalk of a busy Amsterdam intersection. I ripped off

my jacket to catch the chilly blast of the evening air as my

wife cradled me, using her hand to squeegee the sweat out

of my hair. She was mumbling about calling an

ambulance because she thought I might be dying. I

assured her that I wasn't dying, although it was plainly

evident that I could not stand up at that moment.

I assured my wife that given a few minutes my recovery

would be sufficient to proceed without institutional

intervention.

It took about a half an hour for me to regain enough

balance and stability to proceed back to our hotel room,

though I did manage to get myself vertical within about

five minutes of the initial meltdown.

I was still a little wobbly, even as we entered our hotel

room. While fishing around in her purse for something,

my wife let out a huge gasp. It was just then that she

realized it wasn't an antihistamine she had given me

earlier in the evening. It was one of her estrogen hormone

replacement pills.

Somehow, I survived my encounter with forced

femininity. A man with lesser gonads might have

raced for an immediate sex change? I dunno.

What I do know is that I have to be in a very

small subset of males who have actually experienced

hot flashes.

Enjoy.