MOPED ARMY

here's some super-idiot-proof instructions

1. Locate moped, it should be in or near the place where you live. If not, it might be at work

2. Locate moped exhaust, it should be on the moped. It's where smoke comes from.

3. Locate back of baffle. It should be on the back of the baffle. If not, you aren't looking very hard.

4. Locate C clip. C is the 3rd letter of the alphabet, and the C clip resembles the shape of this letter. If that's too hard, we can call it a horseshoe clip.

5. Stop wondering why horses have shoes or how they tie the laces. This will only waste time.

6. Remove the C clip (horsey-shoe clip) by inserting a needle nose pliers into the holes at each end of the C clip (horsey-shoe clip).

7. Don't pinch your fingers.

8. I said DON'T pinch your fingers!

9. Rub your finger until the hurting stops. Get a parent or supervisor to kiss it and make it better.

10. When the C clip (horsey-shoe clip) is compressed (sqeezed), it will be thrown at you quite violently by a spring. Don't let it hit you in the face.

11. Rub your face until the hurting stops. Get a parent or supervisor to kiss it and make it better.

12. If the C-clip (horsey-shoe clip) wasn't thrown violently, then you can just pull it out.

13. Pull the "roundish-shaped thingy" out if that wasn't also thrown violently at you.

14. Pull the spring (bouncy-bouncy dealy) out if that wasn't also thrown violently at you.

15. If any piece was thrown violently at you, go find them. Check under the toolbox.

16. Pull the insulation (fluffy-stuff) out of the baffle with a hook or pliers, but not your teeth.

17. No, NOT your teeth.

18. Go brush your teeth.

19. Once you've removed the fluffy stuff, you can put the spring, roundish-shaped thingy, and horsey-shoe clip back in the reverse order that they were removed.

20. If you don't remember what order they were removed, read 6-14 again.

21. Don't roll around in the fluffy-stuff, it has fiberglass in it and will make you itch.

22. I said... (sigh)... go take a shower

23. Start the bike up and be either impressed or scared by the loud noise your bike now makes.

24. Depending on your reaction to the noise, either smile proudly or go cower in a corner, preferrably fetal-position.

I hope I covered everything, idiot :)

(I'm not trying to insult anyones' intelligence, just trying to be cute ;)

Brandon,

Best instructions I ever read!

One small correction. The "horseshoe thingy" is more correctly refered to as a "Jesus Clip", as in, "Jesus, where did that go", as it slips out of the pliers and bounces into the most obscure place possible. : )

Ron