I went out for a ride this morning (Sunday) and thought I'd stop off at a doughnut shop for a nice coffe and cruller. I was inside for about 20 minutes when I saw this odd lokking pair of teenagers outside looking around weirdly. I was done and figured I'd head out and when I got outside I saw one of these morons trying to pick the lock on my 'ped. They were trying to use a paper clip and nail fil to open the rotary lock cylinder. I walked up to 'em and said they looked like they could use a hand and maybe I could help. They actually accepted my offer. I gave them a few suggestions "have you tried to...?" but they started looking a little aggravated and I thought they might try to kick the shit out of it I said "Hold on. I've got an idea.". I pulled out my keychain and unlocked it. Now these two geniuses were around 15 and maybe 140lbs. I'm 6'4" and 250lbs. One of 'em looked like he was gonna puke. I grabbed the one that actually touched my moped by the collar and told him he'd need prosthetic testicles if he EVER touched someone's moped without permission, especially mine. While I had him, the woman behind the counter came out and said she was goning to call the cops if me and my friends didn't leave. I said that she should go ahead and tell the cops that I just caught these guys trying to steal my moped. She almost fell over laughing. With a wittness at hand I DEMANDED(extorted) "restitution" from these two. They were able to come up with $22 and some loose change and I took it all. Bought me a tank of gas, some oil, lunch and I still have some left!
God bless the morons!!!!!!!