They actually tried to steal it!!!

I went out for a ride this morning (Sunday) and thought I'd stop off at a doughnut shop for a nice coffe and cruller. I was inside for about 20 minutes when I saw this odd lokking pair of teenagers outside looking around weirdly. I was done and figured I'd head out and when I got outside I saw one of these morons trying to pick the lock on my 'ped. They were trying to use a paper clip and nail fil to open the rotary lock cylinder. I walked up to 'em and said they looked like they could use a hand and maybe I could help. They actually accepted my offer. I gave them a few suggestions "have you tried to...?" but they started looking a little aggravated and I thought they might try to kick the shit out of it I said "Hold on. I've got an idea.". I pulled out my keychain and unlocked it. Now these two geniuses were around 15 and maybe 140lbs. I'm 6'4" and 250lbs. One of 'em looked like he was gonna puke. I grabbed the one that actually touched my moped by the collar and told him he'd need prosthetic testicles if he EVER touched someone's moped without permission, especially mine. While I had him, the woman behind the counter came out and said she was goning to call the cops if me and my friends didn't leave. I said that she should go ahead and tell the cops that I just caught these guys trying to steal my moped. She almost fell over laughing. With a wittness at hand I DEMANDED(extorted) "restitution" from these two. They were able to come up with $22 and some loose change and I took it all. Bought me a tank of gas, some oil, lunch and I still have some left!

God bless the morons!!!!!!!


Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

Great job. Isn't it amazing what people/morons will do when they "think" no one is looking? Hope they learned a valuable lesson that they'll remember for the rest of their lives. Take care and hope you enjoy the 6 months of cruising that gas money will get you.

Brian S

Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

Reeperette /

Well, generally one doesn't get that far on mine....if my bike is sittin there, rest assured I am usually in sight of it...or, in the rare case where I ain't - best not touch it...Zaaaaappppp....and that thing HURTS, cause I've forgotten to turn it off a time or two afore I hopped on.

Of course...if I do see em, I don't even bother with niceties like warning or threats, and will gleefully clobber them from behind, then put the boot in.

<-- Uses model #Charge 1K.


Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

LMAO. Way to go Richard, that's hilarious. I have to remember that whole "you guys need some help" routine.


Re: zap

Wayne Broderick /

what? how...?

You got a tesla coil on there or what?

Re: zap

sounds like a scene from the movie Exit Wounds with dmx and steven segal, i would of slit the kids throat if it was me....... lol just joking. next time dont be so forgiving.


Re: zap

Zap huh? Why would it make a zap? im confused! I want such an anti-theft protection!.


Re: Model T coil

A Ford Model T ignition coil puts out a constant knock-you-on-your-ass spark on 6 volts DC. They measure 6"x 3 1/4 x 2 1/8, so they're easy to hide. A good used one can usually be found at antique car swap meets for around 10 bucks.

They used to be used for all kinds of fun, from vehicle protection to electrifying the toilet seat in an outhouse, as an old timer neighbor told me they did when they were kids.


Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

Geez,you're out in etobicke,i was out there yesterday at woodbine with my little yamaha jazz,just bought it last week,think i'd better get a nice,big chain ,guess you can't trust the keylock to do the job.

Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

XBrandon EdgeX /

Look at this security system.

No way that can be legal! Well, not in the US of A, anyway.

Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

A great story---Nice going, Richard!!

Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

Simon King /

awesome story. i love the way you handled it so calmly. their hearts probably fell right though their stomachs when you pulled out that lock.

The best part though is that you made them give you money -- classic.


Anti Theft Zapper.

Reeperette /

Quick Disclaimer.

Keep in mind, in prissy neighborhoods, you can get sued for using stuff like this.

Me, I don't much care...if a court in this country is gonna let you sue me for getting zapped WHILE trying to steal my wheels, believe me....I will ensure you pay dearly for it.

Any law that makes it some kind of dire sin to defend your own property...piss on it, no way am I going to just LET someone walk off with my favorite ride.


Next Post will have the info.

Anti Theft Zappers and Tracers

Reeperette /

REPOST (Older Post pasted here)

Hereya go folks, gadgets to make sure your ped stays YOURS.

No Reccommendation.

Bunch of sneaky Brits, but good at it, this is more complex stuff.

Model # TT7K is a personal Fav, $40.00 worth of real security.

Page three also has a handy thing fer keepin hands OFF yer 'ped.

I use Model # Charge1K myself, but it's a bit, umm..extreme for campus use.

Alarms are prettymuch ignored in this day and age of car alarms, tracking devices are much handier, most moped thieves don't go far....and as for preventing vandalism one of those zappers does a nice job of keeping hands off.

(Pity the doggie that lifted a leg on my ped a couple nights ago, but then, that's why they have leash laws..)

You shouldn't use common chain, it's just too easy to bust, I reccommend heavy aircraft or elevator cable (home depot has it !) and a pin-across lock, which looks like this.





But on-campus the most effective defense of yer wheels is an "example" or two of what happens to folks who mess with your moped...a little of that will go a long way.


Re: Anti Theft Zappers and Tracers

Reeperette / need a battery to run model Charge1K offa most mopeds.

Mine's mounted...welll...hell if I tellya, you'll know where ? right ?

Hide it well.



Reeperette /

>>No way that can be legal! Well, not in the US of A, anyway.<<

And I care ? given this is the same country who's police have told me before that interfering with a moped thief is cause for lockin me up when it's MY wheels they are walkin off with ?

:::Writing down order information:::

Handy little toy....


Re: Anti Theft Zappers and Tracers

hey Ree, is there any way to turn down the voltage on that mo-fo? it'd be sweet to charge some fucking prick trying to make off w/ my moped, but i don't wanna kill nobody. not yet anyways. lemme know man!


Re: Anti Theft Zappers and Tracers

Reeperette / can step it down, but only the big daddy is even "potentially" lethal, the others are just, well...painful - it's not that bad of a zap even, just err..."shocking", and it stings.

The one I use is bitch-all painful, and will about knock you on your ass, muchlike holding a live ignition coil and not watching where you put your hands...but like, worse.

As for stepdowns, you can put resistors in there, if you wanna be merciful, but that sorta contradicts the point of using one of these in the first place.


Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

you're awesome! dude i wouldnt have enough balls to do that i would just be like "uh what are you doing? this is mine". one of my peds was stolen a couple months ago and was never found. i wish i could catch the s.o.b.s that took it.

thanks for the insperation,

dave h

Re: They actually tried to steal it!!!

Man,that blaster is extreme!I'd go along with it if it could only get the bad guy,but you know Murphy's Law;some poor little kid or old woman would set that thing off and you're going to the big house for tryin' to protect your property!So I'd beware the extreme stuff unless you feel you won't get caught makin' a big mistake on some poor little fellow who wanders away from Mom,or Mom herself. Just my overly cautious self here, talkin' thru my hat ,I suppose.

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