Puddle Cutters

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About

The Puddle Cutters are an official branch of the Moped Army that hail from Portland, Oregon. They were admitted on October 29th of 2006 with 11 members and has grown to 17 members as of Oct 16

Key features:

  1. Drunk
  2. Wet
  3. Broken
  4. Bleeding
  5. Awesome

Also known as Snuggle Bunnies, Cuddle Bunnies, Cuddle Putters, Cuddle Fuckers, Cuddle Puddles, Bubble Bunnies, Pedal Fuckers, Bunny Stabbers, Bunny Fluffers, Bunny Cutters, Poodle Cuters, Clutter Putters, Awesome Getters, Nutter Butters, Fluffer Nutters, Butter Cutters, Butter Humpers, Butter Smugglers, Butter Cuddlers, Befuddled Gutters, Pud Smugglers, pudl' cutrz

Also goes by: Fucking Psychos from Portland Who Cut Themselves, Douchebags, Assholes, Operation Gizzmop, and Maximum Rad.

If spotted one should approach with caution extending a beer as a peace offering. Do not attempt to speak to a Puddle Cutter unless all sentences includes the word “moped” at least four times.

PS: Moped Moped.

They trade rally dates annually with the Mosquito Fleet (Burrito Treat). Puddle Cutters hold a rally in odd years (15) leaving Mosquito Fleet with the evens. Boner.

Poetry

The Puddle Cutters are super tough, witness this poem written about a fight they had in September of 2007:

And the battle-Vanir strode forth from the mead hall,
Armoured well for their nightly battle with the streets.
But lo! Servants of the Jotun did stalk them from within feast hall;
Violators of ancient hospitality.

But the glorious cutters of puddles hearts did not tremble,
They fear not the streets or any man; thrall of the giants or no.
The mighty warriors ignored the pathetic bleating of the Jotun-thralls,
Reveling in their battle-glory, none could harm them here.

But then, a mighty crash came from the Jotun-thralls!
Empty horns flew through the air at the Vanir!
Eric and his kinsmen stood resolutely against the Jotun-thralls,
Battering them with fists and full horns of mead until they crumbled.