Moped Army

This is not a denial of an offer, but a fun email conversation.

A brief background: there were two super clean mopeds for sale in Tahoe, which were priced at $700.00 for both. I called to make arrangements to pick them up, but the seller informed me that someone had just come by and purchased them. Boo.

About three days later, I see the same two mopeds back up on CL, now in Reno, and priced at $850.00 each. Not cool. I decided to email him.

ME: Wow! So pretty. I would love to cum, and then check out the moped. Where are you located, and when would be a good time?

$850.00 seems a little low (not that I'm complaining LOL). They sell on eBay ALL the time for like 2 grand. Plus, back in the 1970s when they were new, they were like $700.00, and they can only increase in price over time, like a rare classic car. You know?

ANYWAYS!

Yeah, shoot me an email and let me know!

Thanks a bunch,

JERK SUCK: troy, you may come and see it tonite or in the morning. call us at 674-***, thanks, bets, it is a real beauty

ME: LOL. Sorry I didn't call you back, my leg fell off. Weird. I have a prosthetic leg, and sometimes when I drink, I misplace it; plus I am ALWAYS drunk. So many legs!

Sorry again, LOLOLOLol!

I luckily have a backup. I can cum again, super hard, and look at the bikes this weekend. Call me soon, OK?

Troy

JS: TROY, YES, YOU MAY COME THIS WEEKEND TO SEE THE MOPED. SAT AFTERNOON WOULD BE A GOOD TIME OR ALL DAY SUNDAY WOULD BE GREAT. JUST GIVE US A CALL FOR THE SIMPLE DIRECTIONS, THANKS TROY, BETS

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Several months went by and the mopeds were still for sale, so I thought I would email them again.

ME:* Greetings "Friend",

Do you still have this moped? I think you had it for sale on craigslist before, if I am not mistaken, which I never am, being the son of God and all. I tried to come and take a look at it, but your house was invisible at the time. Did you get that fixed? I hope so, because golly-gee, what a BEAUT (pronounced 'boat').

I have an unnatural obsession with mopeds: let's be honest, it's a fetish. When that old lady of the night Mary comes knocking at my door looking for me to guide her on the straight-and-not-so-narrow path, I can only recommend one mode of transport: a PUCH MOPED. In fact, if several mopeds are not within the vicinity during coitus, my immaculate seed shalt not be sown (sorry, my dad is better with the ancient vernacular).

Needless to say, I must check out this one-of-a-kind, amazing machine. Did you know that they are highly collectible? I think your price of $850.00 is far too low, would you take $1000.00? I would feel too guilty otherwise.

When can I come by and do a little test drive?

Go in peace my son,
--
Jesus Garcia

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I did not get a reply back on that one. I miss them though, I think I will call them tonight.